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Flat Stanley Visits Tampa (all the way from Dubai)

February 26, 2013 in Family, General, Humor, Travel with 0 Comments

Here is a picture of  my sweet niece & nephew Kaleigh & Noah Wittenburg. It was taken the last time they visited Florida. I cried and cried when they left b/c i miss them so. They live in Dubai now and although they love it there, I miss them terribly and want them to move back!

Kaleigh sent me her friend Flat Stanley all the way from Dubai. It was a LONG trip for him. More than a month of travel time just to make it to the USA. I was so excited to get mail from Kaleigh and her class at Raffles school.

The rest of this post is written by Flat Stanley himself about his visit to Tampa specifically for the Raffles South Campus, Grade 3C class so enjoy! And next time you visit Flat Stanley bring Kaleigh & Noah with you!

Love – Auntie Lynn

Whew, I made it. It’s a long way from Dubai to Tampa, FL but I finally got here. After all that travel, I was starving so first thing Auntie Lynn did was feed me. Then, I decided to rest. It’s beautiful here in Tampa Bay and the weather is great so I decided to chill out by the pool. Since I don’t know how to swim, Auntie Lynn’s dog Koiya kept an eye on me so I wouldn’t drown. When I finally got inside, I was so tired I laid right down on the other dog Simba and took another nap. See the photo to the right. Auntie Lynn told me that one time Kaleigh’s brother Noah was so tired he laid down on Simba & took a nap too so I was right at home.

Monday couldn’t come soon enough. First, I was told I had to drive into work. I think Auntie Lynn was lazy. Either that or she just likes to be driven around.  It was a little scary but with her help I drove without getting any tickets or any car crashes.

Next up, was a day at the office. Auntie Lynn works for a hockey team called the Tampa Bay Lightning. Working in sports is HARD work. Auntie Lynn runs a tight ship. I had to do hours and hours of work for her helping her market the Lightning.

Here’s a picture of me making all the marketing decisions. Auntie Lynn said she was going to the spa for the day and I should just do the best I could do. It was lightning and stormy all day in Tampa so I got inspired to make this commercial called Electricity while she was out.

After a few day’s of really hard work, I got introduced to my new friend, ThunderBug. He’s the official mascot of the Tampa Bay Lightning.One day we went to Metropolitan Ministries and helped out. Auntie Lynn said it’s very important to volunteer and to give back and that they do alot of that at work thanks to their amazing owner.

I had a blast with ThunderBug. He’s so funny even though he doesn’t speak English or a language that any human can understand. He’s also HUGE. He is one very BIG BUG as you can tell from our photo. He’s my new best friend in Tampa Bay.

You can learn more about ThunderBug by checking out his website. In fact, he even has a FREE Kid’s Club that anyone can join. Even kids all the way in Dubai. I signed up Kaleigh and Noah right away so they’ll be hearing from him soon.

That’s it for now kids, it’s been a very long few days. I have to go to bed early as tommorrow I’m going to my very first Lightning game. I’ll write more soon.

Later -

Flat Stanley

La Tomatina Festival

August 29, 2012 in General, Humor, Social Media, Travel with 0 Comments

It’s virtually impossible to put my experience today into words. So, I’ll do my best to show you via video.

Let’s start with the obvious. I’m in Bunol, Spain for the La Tomatina Festival. I’ve always wanted to do it and it just so happened my vacation coordinated with the timing of this event.

All i knew going in was it was a tomato fight. People forgot to mention the 4 hour waiting in the sun on crowded streets.

If you are claustraphobic, this event is not for you. I have now seen multiple people hyperventilating CLOSE UP and i was freaked out just watching them. If you don’t like crowds and tight spaces, do not go.

Now that we got the disclaimer out of the way…

It all starts around 9am with a bunch of idiots trying to climb up a greased pole to get a ham. Yep, you heard that right.

There is not enough alcohol in the world to get me up that pole or anywhere near those boys fighting each other and the greasy pole. And for those of us incentive based, want to know what the lucky guy who get’s up the pole wins? the freaking Ham hanging off the top & of course the notariety!

Once the ham has been had, you head over to get in line for the tomatoes. Let the fight begin! Or at least that’s what we thought. But then, this happened.

that’s right, you pretty much just stand there while people in that truck throw tomatoes at you.

Let me say this, after waking up at 6am, waiting around in crowded streets for 4 hours (Tip: get there by 9am or they won’t let you in the city) and then being in a stampede only to see this truck throwing tomatoes at us, we were all very disappointed and had pretty much decided the whole thing was a bust.

But then a great thing happened. A street fight broke out. Think water balloon fight with tomatoes. It was kind of awesome really. It all eventually ended up looking like this:

Thousands of people getting pelted with tomatoes. It was insane. And for me, totally worth it.

Here’s what I learned:

1. If you have a IPhone people will purposely throw tomatoes at you while you are trying to film. Basically, b/c they are jealous that you are awesome and bought a waterproof case so you can document this event, you are now a moving target and will get hammered.

2. A tomato thrown hard to the back of your head hurts.

3. Tomato juice in your eye’s burn.

4. It is possible to get tomato bits down your actual ear lobe and find them after you shower.

All that being said, it was awesome.

To quote my friend “this is like Gasparilla confined to a 4 block radius”. Those in Tampa will know what that means.

Definitely not for everyone but I’m glad i did it.

 

 

NewsFlash: Rome is in Ruins

August 22, 2012 in General, Humor, Travel with 0 Comments

Ruin Exhibit A: The Colisseum. (it is AWESOME)

Now, I could bore you to death with a ton of photos of churches, old dilapidated buildings and art all of which in person is AH-Mazing.

However, none of my photos (even this awesome one to your left)will do it justice and since we now have a little thing called Google which has way better images of all of this than I do, I have decided instead to do a blog on random things to know about Rome.

Since, I’m a firm believer that everyone should visit Italy in their lifetime, here are some tips that will help you travel here.

Trust me, this is all the stuff you can’t find in the books but it’s helpful to know.

So, here we go in no particular order. You can thank me later!

  • There are over 1 Million scooters in Rome. You see about 3 of them for every car. In fact, I think the city buses are more prevalent than cars. My point is these scooters are dangerous so watch yourself crossing the streets. And do not bother renting a car.
  • This fact is for my Arena/Sports friends. Watch out, i’m about to drop some knowledge on you :) The colisseum originally had a layer of sand on the top b/c that would help soak up the blood of the dead animals and Gladiators (gross right?) Anyway, the latin word for Sand is ARENA which is why all arena’s are named that today.
  • The tour bus is FUN and a great way to see the city.
  • Rome is comprised of 7 hills. Walking around is comparable to San Fran.
  • All Italian men try to kiss you on the check upon seeing you. Both cheeks. Apparently this is normal but I still don’t like it. The good news is if you let them (especially wait staff and restaurant owners, this usually amounts to free drinks and sometimes free dinner)
  • In August, it is HOT. And I’m from Florida and it’s still HOT. Bring LOTS of water with you at all time. All of vendors will sell water that is FROZEN. Get that kind as it will melt in 30 min and will be a lot more refreshing.
  • Wine is super cheap. If you drink wine, you will be very happy in Rome. Excellent wines at the same prices as Boones Farm J
  • Pinocchio is a really big deal here. You will see him in all the gift shops. Stock up!
  • All meal are 4 courses and there is no rush what-so-ever when it comes to services so just relax and enjoy the meal. They are in no rush to get you out of a restaurant.
  • I have not tried it but people will drink water from anywhere. Fountains, faucets on the side of streets. It does not seem sanitary to me but yet everyone does it. I was in a fountain and someone came and dipped there water bottle next to where I was standing.
  • There are a lot of ruins with nothing to see. Circus Maximus and the Forum are good examples of this. Read a history book and look online and save yourself the time if you are pressed. There are much better things to see.
  • If you order seafood it will come with it’s head on and eyeballs in. Be prepared.
  • The food is unreal. What they serve in the states is NOT real Italian. The cheese & pasta is truly amazing. I will come back here just for the food.
  • The toilet seats have no rims. Which makes for a very large seat. Which means you could fall in the toilet if you aren’t careful. Don’t ask me how I know this.
  • Blue jeans are actually from Genoa, Italy. They were the first to create the indigo dye and so jeans (Genoa) were named after them.
  • I would recommend the Roma Pass but only if you aren’t going to pay for tour guides. It’s worth the price b/c you get to skip all the lines.
  • There is no real homeless here like in other countries or people asking you for money. It’s refreshing.
  • For some reason, people seem to know we are American on site.
  • Gelato here is actually healthy and can be eaten 3-4 times a day. Half of this sentence is a lie J

Chow!

Rome – Day 1: The Vatican, Fountains, Statues & HEAT!

August 20, 2012 in Humor, Social Media, Travel with 0 Comments

Let’s get started with a little tip for any of you looking to take over a country. Yep, you read that right. If you are looking to take over a country, I highly recommend Spain.

Why?

You know how most countries you visit want things like a boarding card and answers to a few basic questions like “why are you here?”

Well, Spain has no interest in that what-so-ever.

Easiest customs ever. Didn’t even look at my picture. Barely glanced at the passport and that was just to make sure the stamp actually landed on a page.

So, now you didn’t hear this from me but Spain is ripe for the taking. Someone get on this quick. All i need for the tip is free Sangria and Paella for life. Thank you!

I’ll right more about Spain later as we were only at the Madrid airport for about 6 hours before heading to Rome.

Roma. My kind of city.

Rome is my niche. I love it here. And I think people love me here. Could be b/c I’m blond, might be b/c I’m loud & American but anyway, so far me and my friend Court are a HIT.

Here’s  a pic of us with the restaurant owner last night.

As you can tell by the photo, I’m a little scared & surprised. One minute we are minding our own business at dinner. The next, the wait staff is asking for kisses on the cheek. And then the owner is greeting us & our dinner is free. Fun times!

Random, but does anyone else see a little Ed Asner in this guy?

So free food, is 1 great thing about Rome.

Here’s another reason I love Rome. Pasta. Cheese. Wine. Gelato. Repeat. Then Repeat again.

Today, we headed off to the Worlds Smallest Country. That’s right, the Vatican. After a 3 hour tour of art and more art I came away with this thought.

“I would rather shoot myself in the foot than be an artist”.

Michelangelo spent 4 years painting the Sistene Chapel ceiling. I spent 4 minutes looking at it and was too tired to hold my head at that angle any further. Here is a drawing of the angle Michelangelo had to be at in order to paint that ceiling.

If I was the painter I think I would have gone to the Pope and said “Look dude, I think this painting is really about Jesus and Mary, let’s paint them & a pretty blue sky and call it a day”.

I guess that’s why I’m in Marketing.

Other than that the day can be summed up with the following: Statues, Art, Walking, HEAT. All in all a fabulous first 24 hours in Rome.

Chow baby!

Basic Needs

June 14, 2012 in Business Development, Marketing, Social Media, Travel with 0 Comments

I often think about Creativity and how to obtain it. Or more like will it into existence from the doldrums of everyday life. See in my line of work, I am paid to be “creative”. But yet, I rarely find “creativity” when I’m chained to my office with a revolving door of staff, meetings, problems, etc. Like a hamster on a wheel, it’s tough to see the trees when you are in the forest.

I usually do my best work when I’ve been inspired. Sometimes, this comes from a break from the grind, or time alone to reflect/think but often it just comes from experience. From seeing something new. From getting out there and doing something. anything.

I could probably write a book on why I think taking care of yourself is the most important thing anyone can do for your job, your family, your friends etc. but i’m sure there are tons out there.

When I want to be inspired, the best thing I can do is go do something inspiring. Get out of my comfort zone. Do something different. Personally, this is why I like to travel and literally see the world but there are ways to do this that don’t require a passport.

Recently, inspired by our owner, the Lightning have pledged to do 4,000 community hours in the Tampa Bay area. That means about 25 hours for each staff member. Getting out and about gives you a new perspective. Often helping others, makes me realize how good I have it. It’s inspiring. It’s been a humbling experience b/c I often feel like it’s me that’s getting the true reward when I volunteer.

I ran across this quote today:
You’ve got to have something to eat and a little love in your life before you can hold still for any damn body’s sermon on how to behave. -Billie Holiday, jazz singer and songwriter (1915-1959)

Isn’t that the truth?

It reminded me of a lesson I learned in Africa. See, I was privileged enough to go with World Vision  (PS – if you want to really make a difference, sponsor a child, you help their entire community) on a trip to see the work they are doing. The most amazing thing to me was here I was in a place that I considered “sheer and utter poverty” and almost everyone we met seemed truly JOYOUS. One of the workers there told us that the goal of World Vision is to teach them how to provide for themselves. So rather than give someone food, give them a goat that will feed them. Educate them. Teach them how to provide for themselves.

Pretty simple stuff actually. And it applies to a lot of areas.

So, what does providing basic needs in Africa or shelter to people locally have to do with my creativity? The same thing it does for you. If you are stuck in a rut, it’s most likely your own fault. Don’t do the same thing everyday and expect a different result. Get your basic needs (whatever they are) met so you can be a contributing member of your staff, your family, your community whatever!

There are a million ways to be inspired. Go find one today!.

The World is no longer flat.

February 18, 2012 in Business Development, Family, Humor, Marketing, Sales, Social Media, Travel with 0 Comments

So, apparently Russia borders Alaska…

That’s a little nugget I didn’t realize until today.

Was skyping with my brother today and he was asking me about vacation spots. I say this b/c it’s important to set up the fact that even he considers me a travel expert.

Well, expert might be a little strong (and a self given title) but I do LOVE to travel.

As we are discussing various destination options for him to take the family he says rather casually “well, I do have to go to Russia so maybe when Julie (his wife) is back in the states we can just go on a weekend trip and leave the kids with the parents”.

This made me laugh b/c I’ve been to Moscow and um, it’s not exactly close. In fact, I think my flight from Chicago to Moscow was give or take, around 11 hours. And I’ve been to Alaska which last I checked was on the West Coast of North America. Next to Canada. And the opposite direction of how I flew to Moscow.

See map to the left.

So, as I’m telling my brother this, I notice my brother is googling. And he is googling big time. Of course, he’s not backing off his statement, he’s just searching the internet in the same manner children go after the candy from a busted pinata.

You have to know our family dynamics to get real insight into the situation unfolding. Trust me, although the conversation sounds harsh and we were literally screaming, it’s done with love. I’ll try to describe:

Me: “you are a total moron. I’m embarrassed to say you are my brother”.

Him: “Russia borders Alaska you idiot, it says so on google”

Me: “you are crazy.”

At which point we skyped in my father b/c after all, He is the man that we believe loves maps more than his children.  He promptly, called us both “adopted” and told my niece to please stay in school and pay attention so she doesn’t end up like us.

Now, imagine versions of all these statements at very high decibels with a lot of insults and sibling rivalry that dates back 36 years. And of course, we are all laughing. We are betting lunch, my first born and anything else we can think of.

Then, my brother (still frantically googling) says these words and I know, technically I have lost.

“Lynn, the World is no longer flat”.

And sure enough, the map to my left proves him right.

Apparently, Russia does kind of border Alaska.

In fact, as my brother pointed out in one place it’s a 5 mile difference.

Who would of thunk?

Now, before I let this get to my brother’s head, this is not a victory for him.

See, I knew what he meant and he had no clue. He really thought they could do a weekend jaunt from Chicago to Russia. And while technically you can, you’d spend more time in a plane than on land. Plus, there is no part of Russia that is close to Alaska that anyone in their right mind would travel too. I dare you to look at that map and prove to me there are human beings up in the alaska/russia border.

The reality is he got lucky on google and is smart enough to change tactics mid stream. That’s a strength, like I mention in my Taboo post so he get’s points but not the “W”.

Bottom line, I’m keeping my first born.

But, it did get me thinking.

Often, I’m sure I’m right.  But, in reality I only know what I know.

Sometimes, I’m so confident in what I DO know that I’m not very open to other ideas. I learned a valuable lesson today.

The world as we know it is no longer FLAT.

And, I, unfortunately, am not always right!

Dubai: Day 1 Dune Bashing

January 21, 2012 in Family, Travel with 0 Comments

Check out this sunset. Yep, desert sand for miles. So gorgeous.

So, we’ve been in Dubai less than 24 hours and here is a short list of all the new things I have done today.

1. Wore my first (and last) burka.

2. Got my first tatoo (just a henna before anyone (specifically my parents) freak out)

3. Did a little Dune Bashing.

What is Dune Bashing you ask? Great question. When my sister in law first told me we’d be doing it Day 1, i had 2 thoughts. We are either going to go try to climb them or we are going to go make fun of them.

Dune Bustin

Great news, the answer was #1 and we got to do it in dune buster buggy’s.

Most of the time, our car looked like this one on the right. Or at least it felt that way.

It’s hard to describe so I took a video. Before you watch, i warn you of 2 things. It contains Shakira’s music and lots of motions that could make you sick. If you are good with that then you can watch it here.

By the way, at least 3 cars stopped for people to puke. Dune Busting is not for the weak of heart people.

I think my 7 year old niece summed it up the experience best with this quote “You never feel more alive than when you are almost dead”.

 

Dubai Bound

January 19, 2012 in Family, Travel with 0 Comments

Sitting in JFK waiting to depart for Dubai.

Why Dubai you ask?

Well, even though it’s been on my “short list” for awhile in terms of travel, I’m actually going to see this guy to my left. Yep, that crazy skydiving fool is my brother. And he’s got himself a gig at SkyDive Dubai. So for now, he lives there.

Of course, he’s just part of the equation. i also have a niece, nephew and sis-in-law that go along with him. And on most days, we like them better :)

Anyway, I’m off and can’t wait.

I have no idea what to expect. But, I do know I’ve travelled enough not to believe what the media says about other countries. For instance, I doubt I will become someone’s 5th wife on this trip even though I’m blond and possibly a commodity.

I also know this. I will not be chewing gum or falling asleep on the monorail because it has been confirmed that those actions result in fines. And possible imprisonment (ok, that part is not actually verified but it sounds good). And if you don’t believe that although I talk a big game but am actually scared to death of law enforcement you can refer to my time with the Hong Kong security guy.

So, my plans are (as always) to look for adventure. I will be going skydiving, sand surfing and dune bashing (even though I have no idea what dune bashing is). Right now, I’m not sure if I will be punching the sand dunes or sitting around making fun of them.

Either way, I’m IN.

PS – I will also be spending some serious time with these 2. These kids are 2 of my favorite people in the world and having them halfway across the world kinda sucks.

 

Home for the Holidays

December 21, 2011 in Family, Humor, Travel with 2 Comments

For the first time in my life, I am at the airport early.

And by early I mean I’m sitting at the gate and they haven’t started boarding yet.

As I sit here with the millions of things i plan to accomplish in the next 3 days whilst in Chicago, I decided I might as well write them down and hold myself accountable. After all, I preach about goal setting all the time so might as well live it out.

In an effort to make these actual, I’m limiting it to 10.

So, here goes:

1. Try not to freeze. (So far, so good as I’m dressed for Chicago in boots, sweaters and jackets but sitting in Tampa where it’s 80 degrees. I’m the opposite of freezing, I’m ROASTING. Alas, that will change soon enough. I hope my Dad has a fire going & that my 3 years in Colorado toughened me up.

2. Visit my BFF from highschool and god-daughters.

3. Watch both the Money Ball & the Help (2 movies I’ve been meaning to see but never have time)

4. Finish reading the last 2 books in The Hunger Games series.

5. Be a part of the winning Grandfather/granddaughter Bridge team. This might prove difficult b/c let’s face it, my Grandpa is old and I suck at Bridge.

6. Ressurect (and finish) the infamous puzzle from 2009. The only puzzle to date the Wittenburg family could not finish at Christmas. The same puzzle that made my Dad say “I quit” which is the first and only time i’ve ever heard the man utter those words.

7. Do some Christmas shopping. Right now, everyone is on board to get a big ole HUG for Christmas. I’ve got work to do.

8. Visit with my highschool friends. Years pass but somehow, we all revert back to being 16 at Christmas when we get together.

9. Annual bake something with Grandma. Between her virtual blindness and my lack of baking skills this should be an interesting task.

10.  Teach my mom how to use the iphone. By far, the most aggressive goal on this list since we are talking about the woman who last Christmas said “Do you know how to text because i think people are doing that to me but i’m not sure. To which I looked at her phone & found 127 unread texts from the past year. Also, the same lady who asked me if I wanted to Skycap with her (in reference to Skype). If you pray, I need some with this task.

Merry Christmas All! Hope your holidays are filled with fun and laughter!

 

The Elusive Icelandic Puffin

July 8, 2011 in General, Travel with 0 Comments

Take a good look at this photo to your left. Please note it’s not mine (neither the photo nor the puffin). I got it off Google images. It’s a pic of the elusive puffin. Yep, that’s right. I came all the way to Iceland and one of the main sights to see is this bird and I got no pics. Well, at least not a single one in which you can tell it’s actually a puffin.

I call them elusive b/c even though it’s the most common bird in Iceland and there are over 10 million of them, they are apparently hard to find. And even harder to photograph. They are quick little buggers.

We took a boat tour that cost about $30 out to an island to see them. I do NOT recommend this. You are nowhere close to them on this boat. And apparently, you can’t just throw bread in the air and attrack them as one might do with a seagull.

Sidebar: I guess since they are hunted and eaten as a main course around this part they are a little skeptical of all humans. I tried to show them I was an American with very finicky eating habits and thus, had no interest in them as a meal but they didn’t seem to understand.

You can watch this video if you have 4 minutes of your life you don’t care about losing. Or you SHOULD watch this if you are a big Justin Timberlake fan b/c our guide was a dead ringer for JT (except for the fact he can’t sing, dance or act. Yes, I asked).

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7MQlcbUxdeU

The only other highlight besides the fact our guide is a dead ringer for JT, is the fact he was halfway knowledgeable about the puffin. Well, at least he sounded knowledgeable from what I could understand. You can hear me agreeing and trying to decipher his Icelandic English accent. I give myself an “D” on the deciphering part. You can probably do better on your own.

So that’s it. Disappointing day and no puffin to bring home to the dogs.

Bottom line is, if you ever find yourself in Iceland I strongly suggest driving up near the Fjords where I hear you can see these puffin on land & it’s free.

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