Yep, that’s right, such a thing exists. I found out about this whole concept a few months ago when I saw a deal on GroupOn. If you know me at all, you know i’m a sucker for GroupOn.
So, when this GroupOn came up for $10 for a day of dog care, I jumped right in. The GroupOn promised hours of fun& frolicking for the pups but what sold me was the thought of wearing their ass out and easing my guilt of a typical 14 hour work day.
I finally got around to calling and the call went something like this:
Me: Calling to reserve a spot for 2 black labs for tommorrow at Dog Dorks (um, yes i kid you not this is the name).
Dog Dorks: Great, will this be their consultation visit?
Me: If you mean, their first time, yes!
Dog Dorks: Ok, we will have to set up a time to observe them so we can place them in the proper play group. This process will take 4 hours and needs to be scheduled in advance. You must drop them off before 8am and must pick them up before noon. Noon – 2pm is nap time and we can’t disturb there regular schedule.
And we now interrupt this regular phone call for a reality break. I kid you not, that’s what she said. If you are like me, there are a million questions running through your head like “consultation for dogs?” “did she say nap time? how does one force a group of dogs to nap between 12-2pm?”. “these are dogs right? not children?
To be honest, i’m still a little in shock about the whole situation but i’m a trooper so i forged ahead.
She’s the type of dog that makes all parents yearn for another one. I can hear it now “This one is so great, she’s perfect. Let’s have another”. Well, that’s where the mistake happens b/c like I constantly tell my parents when referring to my younger brother “Why didn’t you stop with me? When you had it perfect? You know you can’t repeat that again?”
Simba is retarded.
She barged into our lives and i’ve spent more than a few days regretting her. Koiya has pretty much spent all of her days regretting her. In the pic to the right she is guarding a weighted ball (like the kind you work out with). most dogs would go after a tennis ball, but no, Simba wants a work out ball that weighs 5 lb to carry around.
Like I said, retarded.
So, Good news! We survived the consultation so apparently my dogs aren’t as retarded as i thought. Or maybe this place is like the slow bus for dogs, i mean their is the word “dork” in it’s name. It could be like the people version of space camp.
Regardless, we passed.
Today was the first day of real fulltime doggie day care for the mutts. I dropped them off promptly at 7pm where i was informed i must be back by 6pm or there would be fines. In fact, if i’m not back by 6:15, the dogs get put in a lock down situation where they must stay the night.
Again, I kid you not. Real story.
I’m in unchartered territory people. I literally panicked. All day I was worried about making it there by 6. What if i was in a meeting? What if I couldn’t leave on time? What if there was traffic? How will the dogs eat if they get put in lockdown? Do they get punished if I’m late? Will they know they’ve been abandoned?
Bottom line is, I don’t think the Doggie Day Care is worth the drama. I think my backyard where it’s safe with no rules will be just fine moving forward. So to sum up: Doggie Day Care: 1. Lynn: 0
And…………… i’m out.
PS – Of course the Golden Child came home with an award (literally a paper saying she was chosen Dog of the Day and a bag filled with treats). I was fully expecting Simba to have papers filled with red marks and a note requesting a parent conference but she made it out clean.