At the request of now 3 of my good friends, i am adding some humor to my blog. They said i’m too serious with work stuff on here and that’s only half of my life. Since nothing really good in terms of humor i asked them what am i supposed to do. My best friend replied “Just post your Chachi story”. So, here you go. And thank you to my friends for keeping me real.
The people in this story are real. They are not actors (well, chachi is, technically by trade. Or was a legit actor at the time of this story. Well, I count Happy Days as legit, not sure about you. However, I could debate how he is not now. Even though he has a reality TV show which if you watch will prove this story is true)
DISCLAIMER: You will not be a better person for hearing this story. I am not a better person for living this story. In fact, I’m pretty sure I’m a worse person and you will be too. Sure, you might laugh but if you laugh it’s at my expense and frankly, that’s just not nice. So, read at your own risk.
Facts you need to know:
1. This true story takes place in 1996. It is being reincarnated today b/c we didn’t have FB or Twitter in 1996 so none of you heard it except the few people I called. And I’m not even sure I had a cell phone to call people on. It was 1996. And I was living on ramen noodles in an overpriced shoe box in Redondo Beach. So, I was broke. And had no communication. So, this story probably didn’t make it to many of you.
It’s also being reincarnated b/c I mentioned it in my dinner with my Garth and Trish blog and had about 30 requests for the story. So, for the 30 of you who care, here you go.
2. In 1996, I was a year out of college. If you know me, you know I have sayings or songs I repeat often. Like in 1993, I played Ice, Ice Baby loudly from the sorority house about 57.68 million times a day. I know that’s a lot, right? Ask my sorority sisters; they loved it. Or currently, I’ve been on “what is wrong with you?” This question is not a legit worry of mine; more just a response to ridiculous questions or behavior. You wouldn’t believe how often I have to use it.
So, in 1996 my phrase was “Easy Chach”. Not sure where I got it from but I sure did wear it out. If you approached me and were agitated, my first response was “Easy Chachi”. If you were driving behind me and got to close I’d give you the ole “Easy Chachi” (silently of course. I do not suffer from Road Rage). Anyway, you get the drift. A couple of my guy friends even started responding to this by saying “Easy Joanie” right back at me which I of course, LOVED.
Please pay special attention to this point. It is critical to understanding the story.
3. I was working in LA for the Kings at the time. I was 22. My job was to sell tickets and in doing so we got assigned season ticket accounts. As a Midwestern girl this was my first time being around “celebrities”. I got my account list and here are just a few of the names. Tom Hanks, Jim Carrey, Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell. You know, D list actors. No big deal These were MY accounts. All mine. Other people had their own celebrities. These, I owned -MYSELF. I was 22 and I was big time. I was gonna meet them and win them over.
NOT SO MUCH.
See, the Kings weren’t that great at the time. Our previous owner had been put in the slammer and stole a lot of money. And we sucked. So, apparently that’s not a big draw for celebrities to actually attend games. Who I did meet were their agents or more like their personal assistants. Some were nice. I remember, Tom Hanks person was great. Some were not. Jim Carrey – BOO! Or boo hoo which is the sound of me crying b/c I think his assistant was the first person to make me cry at work. However, some called me direct. Ok, so that’s a stretch. Only Al Michaels called me direct and he wasn’t so nice. I put him in the same category as Jim Carrey’s assistant. Anyway, I quickly got over celebrities. To be honest, 99% of them were a pain in my ass. Plus, we really didn’t see that many.
4. I had 3 childhood crushes growing up. Don’t expect to be surprised. I think every little girl in America had the same ones. And the order of these are important. Drumroll please.
a. Bo Duke – oh howdy, I loved me some Bo Duke. Those blond locks and carefree spirit and this little girl was sold. I even had a Daisy Duke outfit but I was careful to point out that I was NOT Daisy Duke b/c that was his sister. And that was gross if I was his sister and thought about Bo like that. So, I was Daisy’s twin that wasn’t a sister but just a twin friend.
b. Charles in Charge (of our days and our nights). So, I didn’t really know Chachi that well. The few times I watched Happy Days I was much more into the Fonz and his thumbs than anyone else. I also really like Ritchie Cunningham but not in a crush sort of way. However, when Charles in Charge came on I was a goner. Loved myself some Charles in Charge. Wanted him to be in charge of my days AND my nights if you know what THAT means (WAIT, get your head out of the gutter. I was like 12. My nights were literally me sleeping but I just wanted him to look over me in a good, clean, wholesome way). Anyway, the whole point is that Scott Baio to me was Charles NOT Chachi. This is another very important point to remember for the story ahead.
c. Ricky Shroeder. That dude had a train. Wasn’t sure if I liked him or his train. It all kinda runs together but he had it going on and I know I for sure wanted to live with him. And his dad. AND HIS TRAIN. FOREVER.
Ok, that’s enough of the background information. Sorry to have to relive that but it’s a decade later so some of this story may not make sense unless you have all the facts. I don’t want to be misinterpreted in case a legal battle breaks out.
At a Kings game at the Forum. Yep, we are going old school arenas here. The building didn’t even have a concourse that went all the way around. It was like 2 half moons placed together where you could walk to the top or bottom but not actually cross onto the other half moon. We had a Forum Club where all the celebs hung out after the game. Well celebs and players and the puck bunnies (can’t leave the girls out of it). Now, I can’t remember if that Forum Club had a bathroom. Logic tells me it must have but you never know. Again, the building was OLD. And now, I’m old and my memory is fading.
What I do know is there is a hallway in the Forum that goes from the bathroom in the offices to the Forum Club. The hallway is what you would call “tight”. Like, I’m not sure two people could cross paths without one of them having to turn their shoulders. Yep, like I said ‘TIGHT”.
What I also know is on one particular night after a Kings game in 1996, I was in the above described hallway just trying to get some work done (by work I mean making copies which is what the low lever people who ate ramen noodles had to do)when I noticed someone coming down the hallway. Why did I notice this person you ask? One b/c he yelled out “Where’s the bathroom?” and 2 b/c he was weaving from side to side crashing back and forth into the hallway walls of course. And when you do this it’s loud and also noticeable. My first thought was oh this is gonna be “tight” when he tries to get past me.
But, then I recognized the guy. As he approached 3 thoughts raced through my head in rapid fire succession.
1. OH MY GOSH. Its Scott Baio.
2. OH MY GOSH. He’s like 5’2” (inserting whatever sound your heart makes when its crushed here b/c when I saw how short he was my crush was OVER)
3. OH MY GOSH. I think he’s drunk.
I hope you read that QUICK. Like in 3 seconds. QUICK. B/c that’s about how much time I had until I was within 5 feet of him. Or more like that’s how much time I had before he started yelling at me.
At first it was just aggressive “Hey Girl” and a poke on my shoulder “Where’s the bathroom?”. To which of course I respond “Easy Chachi”. Of course, I do. You read point #2 on the preface right? It wasn’t personal. I barely even registered that I was saying “Easy Chachi” to the actual one person on the planet named Chachi. It just came out. It couldn’t be helped. Truly, it was not intentional.
Now, I have thought about this a lot. More so, 10 years ago than recently but a lot none the less. I ask myself, WHY? Why oh why could I have not just told him where the bathroom was. Why did I have to say “Easy Chachi”. I really wasn’t trying to be funny. I was in shock. I mean it was Scott Baio for the love of all and he was SHORT. Why “Easy Chachi”? I think I will never know.
But, the point is I said it and it could not be taken back. Believe me, if I could; I would.
Now, I can’t speak for Scott Baio. I tried his publisher in order to report this story fairly and she could not be reached for comment. But, I’m gonna go out on a limb and say that Scott Baio did not like being called Chachi. Here were some tell tale signs that brought me to this conclusion. Keep in mind: I am not a body language expert or a therapist. I am just Lynn. And this is just one girls opinion.
First, it took him about 32 seconds for what I said to register (to be fair that probably indicated his intoxication more than his “not liking the chachi part”. Then, his face turned RED (not oh how cute he’s blushing type of RED but oh crap, I think he might hit me type of RED). Then he took his 2 fingers and poked me square in the collar bone (which was about eye level for him) and said “I am not Chachi. I am WAY MORE THAN CHACHI (and since I’m a Christian, and I’m trying to not exaggerate and just state the facts I will ask that you please insert about 47 cuss words in here and a lot of statements about his career and how he was bigger than Fonz and more than just Chachi and yada, yada, yada and how I was a nobody and did I know who he was and how dare I) Also, insert a lot of “who’s your boss? And “im gonna get you fired” into this rant.
Now, please reread preface points 3 & 4 now. I was not particularly into celebrities but he was my #2 childhood crush as Charles. So, please believe me when I say what I said next was meant to comfort him. And relax him, and let him know I knew he was more than Chachi. I really thought “Yes, I loved you in Charles in Charge. You were so great” would let him know he had my support.
Alas, my friends, it did not.
Apparently, he took this as sarcasm and literally lunged for me. I say lunged but it was more like a slow reach. (b/c he was intoxicated. Again, I did not have a breathalyzer on me so this is just my opinion. It can not be proven) However, I stepped out the way and he fell into the bathroom. The Men’s Bathroom. Which is exactly what he was looking for, right? I helped him just like he wanted. It had been right behind me the whole time. Your welcome, Scott Baio. YOU ARE WELCOME.
I say this now but at the time, I saw him fall and got the heck OUTTA there. I was 22 and scared to death he would report me and the fact I called him Chachi. I didn’t know if you could get arrested for that or not. I was new to LA and didn’t know all the state laws yet so I decide to just hightail it outta there. Needless to say, when Scott’s new reality show aired. I was relieved b/c now I could be sure he wasn’t still in that Forum bathroom. He made it out and I didn’t get arrested so all is good.
Like I mentioned, you aren’t any better for knowing this story but I hope you enjoyed it.